Approach Each Day With Purpose

Let all your efforts be directed to something, let it keep that end in view. It’s not activity that disturbs people, but false conceptions of things that drive them mad.

–Seneca, On Tranquility of Mind, 12.5 (quote found in The Daily Stoic; the following reflections are my own).

If I were to meet you on the free throw line of a basketball court, pass you a basketball, and tell you to put the ball in the basket, how would you align your body? I’m guessing you’d square your shoulders to the hoop. Where would you look? I’m guessing you’d look right at the basket. Now, you could be a horrible basketball player, but in aligning yourself to the basket, and affixing your focus on the bucket, you’d be giving yourself a chance to sink your shot. You know where you’re shooting, and you’re setting yourself up in that direction.

Next, imagine if you were blindfolded, and I were to meet you on the free throw line of a basketball court, pass you a basket, spin you around, and walk you circuitously to the top of the key, facing the sideline, then say, “Put the ball in the basket.” What would your alignment look like? How much of a chance would you give yourself to make the shot? How confident would you be in making it? Even for a pro basketball player, I think the odds of sinking the shot are slim.

Some of us live each day like the person in the first instance. We know what we’re shooting for, we set our sights on it, and align our actions to achieve it. Sure. Some days we might miss, but we always give ourselves a chance. Others of us live each day like the person in the second instance. We blindfold ourselves. We don’t set our sights on anything. We’re aligned towards…nothing. 

Given that, which person, at the end of the day, do you suppose feels more content or fulfilled? Who has a better shot of “making their shot” for the day? The person living with purpose, focused and aligned to that purpose, or the one without a purpose? Obviously the former. 

I don’t know how many days I get up and go through it with an attitude of mere survival, only to find myself at the end of the day wondering what I accomplished. Then, when enough of those days pile up, I start to think, “What am I doing with my life?” I begin to feel jittery. Restless. Unfulfilled. Unsatisfied. 

Look, I get it. As a parent, sometimes one day appears identical to the next. The tasks feel the same. The challenges feel the same. The chores feel the same. Sometimes, they don’t even seem to matter. Like, oh, I don’t know, when you clean up the playroom only to find an even bigger mess in there no more than 20 minutes later. Believe me, I understand. I also feel the restlessness that situation produces. It can be maddening!  

But what would happen if I chose to approach my days differently? Instead of approaching my days in survival mode, what would happen if approached them with intention. As a parent, if I merely shift my thinking to one of intention, I suspect I’d replace any maddening dissatisfaction with contentment and fulfillment. 

So, what does that look like? Well, to begin with, I’d likely look at my day like a goal. Something like this: Today, I am going to provide my kids with the care, attention, and developmental opportunities to help them thrive. Then, broken down, this means I’m going to feed them, bathe them, clothe them, hug them, play with them, read to them, and build their skills. 

Some days, I’ll get to all of that. Other days, only one or two. But even on those days when everything goes wrong, I’m likely to end the day feeling like I made progress on my goal Even if all I do is get them fed, I’ve made progress. And because I was intentional about what my purpose is, I feel accomplished–at least a lot more accomplished than approaching the day without purpose.

From here, I can branch out. I can add myself to the mix. I can adopt an attitude of intention around my health, intellectual stimulation, social relationships, career, and hobbies. I can pay purposeful attention to supporting and caring for my wife and nurturing my marital relationship too! 

With a simple change in attitude about how I approach my day, I can change the way I feel about my role, and how I spend my days. What’s more, I imagine I’d become, and feel more accomplished too. Join me in making the change. Approach tomorrow with a specific purpose. Have a vision for your day. Then align your actions to fulfill that vision. Try it for a week. Then keep going. In a month, imagine what you could accomplish. Imagine how you’d feel. Let’s go!

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