Be Grateful, Do Good, And Exercise Sound Judgment

All you need are these: certainty of judgment in the present moment; action for the common good in the present moment; and an attitude of gratitude in the present moment for anything that comes your way.

–Marcus Aurelius, Meditations, 9.6 (quote found in The Daily Stoic; the following reflections are my own).

I feel like he’s urging us to stay in the present. Anyone else get that feeling? Of course he wants us to stay present. That’s the only point in time within our current control. But he’s not simply telling us to stay present. He implores us to seek out three things while in the present.

First, certainty of judgment. My take on Stoic epistemology is as follows: As we interact with the world, we form impressions of it. These impressions are neither good, nor bad. They just…are. Next, we have a choice. Do we assent to those impressions, or not? Do we believe those impressions of the world to be true, or not. It’s this process, this choice, which Stoics seem to call judgment. So, what Aurelius implores of us here is a certainty that what we believe about the world actually reflects reality.

Second, action for the common good in the present moment. Once we have properly assented, warded off bad judgment, and appropriately believe that which we encounter in the present moment, we must also act appropriately. For Marcus Aurelius, that involved acting for the good of ourselves and others. In other translations, the common good is replaced with “charitable.” Bottom line? Do good in the now.

Finally, an attitude of gratitude in the present moment for anything that comes your way. We’re guided to be thankful, right here, and right now, for anything that we face. Yes, even the seemingly unpleasant stuff. Why? Well, for the Stoics, much of what we call unpleasant stuff only is unpleasant insofar as we have decided to it being unpleasant. In common parlance, we need to look on the bright side. And while this seems like an oversimplification of life, it’s actually quite the opposite.

The Stoics believe this ability to decide what impressions we assent to, to decide what we accept about the world, is embedded in our human nature, and that which makes us unique among all else that exists. This actually makes things a lot more complex for us. Think about it: a rock doesn’t think anything of erosion. It not even aware of it. We’re not only aware of what we experience, but we can choose what to make of it. 

This is a pretty wild idea. We can choose how we conceptualize the world around us. We can choose to be thankful for what we experience. And that’s exactly what Marcus Aurelius hopes for us to do. To be thankful for it all. Here’s an example of this in action. When my kids get sick, I tend to go to a bad place. One of worry, disappointment, and pity. Routines go out the window. Easy is not a thing. And while even the Stoic would argue that good health typically is in our best interest, there is a way to view common sickness with an attitude of gratitude. Hey, don’t roll your eyes, I mean it!

As I sat with a sick child, missing a family party, pining for the food that I’m not eating (which isn’t very Stoic of me, by the way), I adopted an attitude of gratitude about the situation. Of course I never want my child to suffer, but I really don’t have much control over whether he gets sick or not. It’s a fact of life. Everyone gets sick, multiple times, throughout their lives. So, I let go of the why and how of the sickness. I didn’t waste time seeking out answers, or locating patient zero. 

In fact, I found my thankful that his body was doing what it’s supposed to when confronted with a virus. My son’s body is working as it should. The fever, the runny nose, the occasional cough–they’re all part of the plan. My boy’s defenses work, and I’m thankful for that. I’m also thankful for the opportunity this presented me with. This private time with him is something we don’t always get–not with a one-year-old at home. 

Again, I wouldn’t wish sickness on him to get that alone time, but it happened. I could dwell on missing the party, and decide that’s a real bummer, or I could look at the opportunity missing the party gave me with my son, given the uncontrollable reality that he is sick.

I’ll let you decide the path that is likely to produce a happier outlook. And I’ll let you decide how to relate that experience to your own life. Just remember: you have that choice. And when things get hard, just tell yourself: be grateful, do good, and exercise sound judgment. Repeat it as many times as it takes to believe it. Then, live it!